Essay for TGM

   In the story, Tom Wingfield shows the elements of desires of escape, family struggle, guiltiness, and family love towards audience. We chose the last part of act 8 to show Tom's struggle with Amanda, his mother, and his desires to escape this family; and we chose the ending monologue to show that he feels guilty because of leaving Laura, who is crippled, and his family, which he used to be the only worker in the family, also shows the family love to Laura: even though he leaves his family, he always think about Laura. By acting out Tom, it helps me to comprehend Tom's feeling after he leaves Amanda and Laura, and the his emotion when he finally makes the decision to leave his family.
   In the act 8 when Amanda asked Tom why he did not know his best friend is engaged, Tom said: "The warehouse is the place where I work, not where I know things about people!" It shows that Tom is getting furious because Amanda does not understand him. When Amanda keeps blaming him, Tom replied her in a short response:" I am going to the movies". Just like the situation happened in previous scene, Tom went to the movies as a way to escape. In this situation, he is sick of Amanda's complaints, he used this short response to show that he was mad and did not want to talk with her. In Tom's ending monologue, he said: "I did not go to the moon, I went much farther." At the end of Act 8, Amanda yelled to him that: "Go to the moon, you selfish dreamer!", his word, I went much farther, implies that he thinks himself as a selfish person.
  In the performance, the first scene for me is the quarrel between me and Amanda. First, when I tried to portray that Tom thinks Laura and Jim will be engaged and he feels excellent because he brings Jim here, I walk from the stage left to stage center, make myself a drink, and look around to find Jim in order to let Amanda praise me. But when I heard Jim was engaged with another girl, I put down my cup, and staring at Amanda; and when I said: "Jim? Engaged?", my voice becomes sharper, in order to show that I was surprised. Then, Amanda said it seems very peculiar Tom did not know Jim was engaged, my voice starts to get low, and containing a bit of anger. When Amanda said that what I am doing was all selfish pleasures, I stood up, shook my head, and slowly walked to the coat stand, to show that I endured enough of my mother's humiliation. And when Amanda asked me to leave, I said my words in a fast pace, so that feeling of anger can be shown to audience.
  The ending monologue starts with me walking on the bridge alone. Because in my comprehension, Tom was lonely. In order to show this, I walked slowly, then look around, tried to find something which I was familiar about it. After this, I should say: "The cities swept about me like dead leaves, leaves that were brightly colored but torn away from the branches." For me, this sentence means that once he leaves his family, just like a leave falls off from its tree, he feels helpless and homeless. I portrayed this by using my voice; I emphasize the word "leaves" to show that even though the leaves are colorful, just like the talent that Tom got, it would not change anything, and when I said it was torn away from the branches, I lower my voice, and my voice sounds like I am desperate. And when I said things about music, I looked to a place that was far away, in order to show that I was lost in my mind, thinking about my family, and Laura. Later on, I walked down the bridge, because I think on the bridge it limits my movements. After I walk down the bridge, Laura touches my shoulder. So I turned around, and pretend to look into her eyes because it was an illusion. Then, I got shocked, so I covered my mouth to try not to yell out. Then, I walked slowly, sit on a chair, and looked on the ground, because Tom at this point is feeling bad for his sister Laura. And he also felt a bit of regret so he will not be able to look straightly into Laura's eye if Laura is there. Following my words, I grabbed the cups on the table, and held it really hard, to show I am nervous. When I said: "Blow out your candles, Laura!" I almost yelled it out, because Tom supposed to be nervous and he is talking to the person he is scared to talk with. Then, I put down my cups, and said: " And so, good-bye!" In my opinion, this is a serious and solemn questions to Laura. It should be serious so I put down the cups. Then, the lights go off and I still sit there to wait for the music to the end.
  Overall, Acting as Tom is a challenge for me. Because Tom is an emotional character, a lot of emotions need to be expressed out either by voice or body movements. When I am facing to the audience, I will be nervous, then my voice will become lower and lower, I will start to forget words. But, acting as Tom helps me a lot to understand his feelings and what the words really mean.

Essay outline

Character/TGM description: Tom is the main character and the narrator of this book, he shows that he desires freedom. After taking the pressure from his family, he finally made his decision  which left his family.

After the description, talking about the scenes we chose, and state why: We chose the last scene and the ending monologue, because it is one of the most important part and the climax of the book. It also showed the family struggles between Amanda and Tom in which leaded to the Tom's leaving.

After talking about the scenes, state what did I learn from acting as Tom:...

Tom's theme: guilty for Laura, desires freedom. Physically relieved but mentally tied to Laura. Main themes for Tom is that the desire of freedom/escape, guilty because of leaving Laura/family love.

Body movements analysis:

• In the fight between Laura, I looked around to find where is Jim.
• When Amanda started to complain, it annoyed me so I stood out and took my coat; prepare to leave.
• In the ending monologue, when I said perhaps  it was a familiar bit of music, I stood there and pretended I was listening to the music.
• At the ending monologue, I turned around to look Laura.
• At the ending monologue, I sit at the center of the stage to show that I am lonely, sad.

Props/ lighting:
Talking about how we use the light, the props to emphasize one emotions...

Talking about my own comprehension of the play, and how to use props, lighting to achieve it:...

Words analysis(The way the I spoke):
How did the way I spoke express feelings.

Blog(Reflection on the final performance of TGM)

After the first performance, I received feedbacks like the voice should be a bit louder, then I do that. When I watched the video, I could clearly hear my voice. But there is a problem when I quarreled with Amanda, my voice is loud enough but I did not have much of the emotion. In the play, Tom should be furious about Amanda keeps questioning him, and also thinks that he did not do anything for this family. It should show the anger in my voice.

Then, talking about the movements. During the fight with Amanda, I think I did it great. I tried to have a drink and looked around to find Jim. When Amanda was complaining about me, I stood up, took my coats and tried to leave. But what needs to be improved is the movements in the ending monologue. After the first performance, I realized  that I need to organize the movements in my ending monologue. Then, I came up an idea and I think it would work; when I am talking about fathers, travelling, and walking alone I would standing on the bridge; the later part I will seat at the center of the stage and talk about Laura slowly. My idea, in my opinion, is fantastic, but it did not work out when I am on the stage. On the stage, I became nervous; I paid attention to every movement I did rather than the sentences, everything just looked awkward. Then I kind of messed up. Next time, I think I should not have too many movements, and I should focus on my words more, because too many movements will distract me.

Talking about our group, I think we did it pretty well. Nan's monologue was really good; she showed how sad Jim will be when he talks with Laura. During the conversation between Jim and Amanda, I think both of them did it pretty well. When they were talking, they put some emotions into their words, and they had some movements. But the weakness for our group is also pretty obvious. First, we are not that familiar with our scripts, so that in the conversation between Amanda and Jim, they messed up once and in my monologue I messed up. Then, it is the laughing. During the conversation between Amanda and Jim, they laughed. Probably because audiences were giggling, probably because they think they are embarrassing, but they are not. I think if we are more confident, we can definitely nail it.

Talking about myself, I think I did well on my voice and my facial expression. My voice is loud enough this time, because last time I was too quiet and audiences could not even hear me. Also, I was having a lot of facial expression in the play. Like in the ending monologue I frowned as I turned around and saw Laura. What I need to work on are putting emotion into the character, having some movements but at the same time I would not disturbed by the movements, and trying not to be nervous. Because when I am getting nervous, I will forget my words; after forgetting my words, I will become more nervous. Once I do all of them, my acting will improve a lot.

Feedback's reflection

   In the play, I am acting as Tom. My part was the fight between me and Amanda, and the ending monologue. From others' feedback, I find out that I need to work on my movements, emotions, and loudness of my voice. 

   At the fight between Amanda, I do tried to make my voice louder, but I forget to put emotions in it. The sentences sound dull and cannot make audience feel the emotions. At the beginning of the fight, Tom should feel confused about Jim, like where did he go? Later on, he should feel a bit of angry and impatient, since Amanda, his mother, keeps blaming him because Jim already had a girlfriend/wife. At the last of the fight, Tom should feel furious and he has been wronged, because when he thinks he is doing all the things for his family, his mom thinks the only pastime he had was a selfish pleasure. I will try to put those emotions in Tom's sentences and try to make them to be felt by the words.

   Then, talk about the movements. The movements in the fight is pretty good, but the problem is the movements in the ending monologue. In the ending monologue, I suppose to walk again and again on the bridge; but when I was doing it in the play, I found out that it was just not necessary. Also, when I was trying to figure out how to make my next steps, I already forgot my words. It really distracts me. Probably next time I will just standing on the bridge and talk to the audience slowly.

   The last one is the loudness of my voice. My voice is pretty loud in the fight between Amanda, but at the monologue, audience can barely hear me. I used to think that Tom should speak really quiet and soft so that audience can feel the emotion of him. After the play, I found out that I am toooooo quiet. I should be a bit of louder so that the audience at least can hear my voice.

   Before the performance, one of the techniques I used was the imagination technique. I imagined in that situation, how did Tom feel when he is arguing with his mom. And I kind of knowing that he got angry because he was misunderstood. His mom think he did not know anything, and the only thing he would do was going to the movies. I also imagined about the movements, like how could I make Tom looks real, like a real person in daily life; that's why I tried to drink a lemonade before I am talking to Amanda.